a freshman year enlightenment of mine
I go to an all girls school
A list of what else to expect at a girl’s school:
- girls changing wherever because being ladylike isn’t a thing when everyone’s a lady
- girls who literally couldn’t give less of a shit about their appearance
- freshmen who care too much about their appearance (watch them turn into seniors who stopped giving a shit)
- uniform violations for the silliest things—colored shirt under your uniform instead of a white one, wrong shoes, patterned head band, wrong color socks
- seniors with skirts SO FUCKING SHORT not because of some tired stereotype but because who the fuck wants to buy another skirt when you bought two or three in freshman year when you were like 13
- actually by senior year all your uniform pieces are falling apart. even your socks
- boys from your brother school trying to get with you except they haven’t realized that 1) they’re gross testosterone lumps and 2) lesbians are a thing
- that one girl who always wears the optional pants and is absent on days when the skirt is required
- ALL THE POPULAR GIRLS ARE LESBIANS
GROSS TESTOSTERONE LUMPS
OK SO WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I MOVED TO AN ALL GIRLSCHOOL AFTER BEING IN A COMP FOR MOST OF MY SCHOOL LIFE HERE IS WHAT I LEARNT ABOUT GIRLSCHOOL IN MY YEAR THERE:
-BOUNDARIES DO NOT EXIST, IF YOUR TIGHTS ARE FALLING DOWN, YOU HIKE THAT CROTCH UP NO PROBLEMO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALL WAY, GOT CRAMPS? ANNOUNCE IT. NEED A TAMPON? SHOUT DOWN THE HALLWAY SOMEONE WILL GIVE YOU ONE.
-GIRLS ARE MAGICAL PROBLEM SOLVING CREATURES, WE HAD A NO MAKEUP RULE AND IN THAT YEAR I LEARNT HOW TO USE VASELINE AS MASCARA, HOW TO CREATE A ROCK SOLID HAIRBUN THAT STILL LOOKS POOFY AND CUTE AND HOW TO GET RID OF SPOTS USING NOTHING BUT TOOTHPASTE AND ICE.
-GIRLS HAVE WEIRD TRADITIONS LIKE CLEANING OUT LOCKERS ALL AT ONCE AND TRADING THINGS DOWN BECAUSE UNIFORM AND STUFF IS EXPENSIVE AND PEOPLE LIKE TO TRADE JEWELLERY AND THINGS IDK I NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS.
-GIRLS ARE PACK ANIMALS, IT DIDN’T MATTER IF YOU HATED THAT BITCH IF A GUY CHEATED ON HER OR HURT HER IN ANY WAY HE WAS UNDATABLE TO THE ENTIRE FORM.
-I AM HELLA GAY.
that last bullet tho